Lilyanna was my first baby. She was so wanted and loved by my husband and me. We loved watching the ultrasounds and seeing our little girl grow. Everything was great.
We went to our 20-week anatomy scan and got to see all the different parts of her and how she was growing and measuring and she was absolutely perfect. Little did we know that four days later our world would come crashing down.
It was a Tuesday, and we had both just gotten home from work. I didn’t feel very well so I decided to lay down before cooking dinner. When I got up I had a very high fever and started vomiting and knew something was wrong so we headed to the emergency room.
There they would not let anyone in with me and tested me for COVID and the flu and just left me alone. All tests came back negative and they sent me home without checking the baby.
The next day I still had a fever and vomiting and then started bleeding. My mom took me back to the hospital and three hours after being brought back, they did an ultrasound and I was told those heartbreaking words no parent should ever have to hear: “I’m sorry there is no heartbeat."
My world ended in that moment. They took me upstairs to Labor and Delivery when my husband arrived at the hospital, and they induced labor. At 9:40 pm, I delivered the most beautiful perfect 11 oz little girl I’ve ever seen. She was so beautiful and looked just like her daddy.
When the nurse brought my little girl to me she was wrapped in a beautiful purple cradle from Bridget's Cradles. We got to spend the whole time we were admitted with her and had to say goodbye when we left. We got to come home with a keepsake cradle that had a little butterfly charm on it. That little cradle now hangs in a shadow box in my living room.
Written by Courtney Carter, mother of Lilyanna Rayne Carter, born into Heaven 12/9/20 at 20 weeks and 5 days
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