Bridget's Cradles | Grieving & Healing

GRIEVING & HEALING

Oh, sweet momma. My heart breaks that you're in need of the content on this page. I am sorry for your loss and that you have a need to look up ideas on how to grieve and heal after the loss of your precious baby in Heaven. I sincerely pray that these ideas are healing and hope-filled for you. On this page, I'm sharing what I found to be helpful in grieving and healing after the loss of my daughter, Bridget.

It's important to know that every mother grieves differently and not every idea listed here is going to be helpful or meaningful to everyone. And that's okay. This page is not meant to be an all-inclusive checklist of things you should be doing to grieve and heal after the loss of your baby. I hope you'll take the pieces and ideas on this page that fit with how you're grieving and leave the rest. Do what feels right to you and what is going to help you in your journey. And if you'd like to share how one or more of these ideas aided in your healing, we'd love to hear from you. We are praying for you!

PERSONAL

Write Letters to
Your Baby

Write love letters to your baby in Heaven. Find a special journal and make it your personal place to share your thoughts, feelings, and love for your baby.

After Bridget was born, I started a journal for her and wrote in it frequently, especially when I was overcome with grief from missing her. It gave me an outlet to express my love for her, as well as my emotions, sadness, and the hopes and dreams I had for her. It was my place to talk to her and imagine what she was seeing and experiencing in Heaven. I have also taped cards inside that I wrote in for special days and holidays (e.g., birthday, Valentine's Day).

Journal

Similar to having a journal of letters to your baby, consider having your own private journal for writing about your grief and healing journey. This could be a prayer journal directed towards God, or could simply be a compilation of thoughts, quotes, or Scripture that is helpful and healing to you.

This is your own place to be real and raw in your grief and share the deepest parts of your soul. Don't hold back on what you feel and how you're struggling in grief. One day you'll be able to look back and see how far you've come and how God walked you through the most excruciating heartache of your life and brought you joy again. Journaling is a powerful way to express and walk through grief.

Pray

Take your sorrows to Jesus. He is our Helper and our Healer and He longs to comfort us in our pain. Talk to Him as a friend, sharing the deepest parts of your heart. He can handle your honest thoughts and emotions - even doubt and anger. He will hold your hand and walk you through this, if only you would open your heart and surrender your pain to Him.

He is capable of healing your heart and bringing joy back into your life. He can comfort you like no else can and He will bring beauty out of the ashes of your pain. All He needs is a surrendered and open heart. Pray to Him when you're feeling sad, angry, or in deep despair. His loving kindness and the hope we have in Him of Heaven has been the number one source for comfort and healing to me!

Cry

Give yourself permission to grieve and feel your emotions. This sounds like an obvious one, but oftentimes in grief, we try to distract ourselves from feeling the intensity of our grief by keeping busy or focusing on other things. It is extremely important to grieve fully, real and raw, and let the tears flow when they need to.

Grief ebbs and flows from week to week, day to day, and sometimes even hour to hour. I've found that allowing myself to feel my feelings and experience them as they come leads to greater healing in the long run rather than suppressing them. It's painful to feel the weight and heartache of losing your baby, but crying is one way to release the sadness in your heart. Crying after the loss of your baby is very normal, healthy, and helpful.

Talk About Your Baby

Say your baby's name. Bring them up in conversation. Talk to close friends and family about your grief. Don't bottle up your emotions inside and pretend to be okay. If you feel comfortable sharing, consider posting about your baby or experience on social media so that people in your life know what you're going through.

As uncomfortable as it can be to talk about your baby and their death, it can be incredibly healing to feel vulnerable enough to share their life story with the world. The more you share, and with more people (including strangers), the more comfortable you will become. That being said, there will also be times and places and with certain people that you may not feel comfortable, and that's okay. Don't feel guilty about that. Speak about your baby when you feel it would be healing to you and with people you love and trust.

Go To Counseling

Losing a baby is one of the most traumatic and heartbreaking experiences anyone can endure on this earth. The feelings of anguish and sorrow can feel unbearable.

Talking with a counselor who is trained in grief, loss, anxiety, and depression can be extremely helpful.

It is not a sign of weakness to see a counselor, it is a sign of strength! You should not feel ashamed for seeking help for the deep pain and heartache you are experiencing. I have found great healing from visiting a Christian counselor on a regular basis since Bridget's birth.

Attend a
Support Group

Find a support group in your local area and attend as soon as you're able. Establishing community and fellowship with other grieving mommas is one of the best things you can do for yourself in this season. A support group will help you feel not so alone in your grief and that the feelings you are feeling are normal.

I highly recommend you find a Christ-centered, Gospel-focused support group. It is important that you will receive Biblical truth from Scripture that will aid in your healing. Find a group that will regularly remind you of the hope of Heaven and that you will see your baby again through faith in Jesus Christ!

For a list of support groups in your state, visit here.

Find a Friend

Make friends with another bereaved momma who has experienced a similar loss as you that you can relate to and trust. This can be done by attending a support group, reaching out to another mom at your baby's cemetery, or meeting bereaved moms in online groups. These friends will understand you like none of your other friends can and they will support you in ways that no one else will. This is because they know what your grief feels like and they will relate to you in ways you desperately need during this season.

Some of my closest friends are bereaved moms who I met after losing Bridget. They are deep friendships founded on a common heartache, but also in shared grieving and healing. We have walked with each other on our journeys and now find joy in serving other grieving moms together.

HEALING THROUGH HELPING

Make a Donation

Donate to a charitable organization in memory of your baby in Heaven. You could choose a ministry or nonprofit that served you during your time of need, or choose one whose mission you believe in. Giving in honor of your baby will allow you to help others and know that your baby's life is making a difference in the world.

There are so many wonderful organizations that minister to families who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Many organizations have a special way to honor your baby when you make a donation in their memory. When families donate to Bridget's Cradles in memory of their baby in Heaven, we give them a special memorial certificate with their baby's name (and the name of the person or family who made the donation). For donations over $100, and upon request, we can also dedicate hospital boxes in memory of a baby in Heaven using special shipping labels printed with their name and Heaven day.

Volunteer

Volunteer your time and talents with a local or national organization. Find a cause that you're passionate about and an organization whose mission you believe in. If you're able to find one related to pregnancy loss, that's wonderful, but it doesn't have to be.

What's important is focusing on serving others and getting outside of your own grief. That's not to say that you shouldn't be grieving, but that your grief shouldn't be all-consuming and your life's only focus. What I've found is that by helping others, it's made my grief more bearable and constructive. Helping others gives me purpose in my pain and allows God to work in my heart and life for His glory.

If you're interested in volunteering with Bridget's Cradles, we have a place for you and we'd love to welcome you to our team! You can view nationwide and local volunteer opportunities here.

Blog or Write

If writing is a talent of yours, or something you like to do, use this gift to help others who are experiencing the same heartbreaking loss you have. Write about your baby's life story to spread awareness about pregnancy loss and to honor your baby's life. Share about your journey and what has been healing to you in your grief. Proclaim your testimony of God's goodness and how He has redeemed you from the depths of despair. Use your words to bring hope and healing to other moms who need to hear your story!

Writing has always been something I've loved to do ever since I was a young girl. Having this website and blog has been healing for me to have a place to share about Bridget's life and how God has walked through this journey with me!

Give Back

It doesn't have to be something big like starting a nonprofit or organizing an event or writing a book. Just start small. What's a small thing you can do to show love to a world that is hurting? Can you bring a meal to someone? Invite someone over? Send a card to a friend who is hurting?

What passions, strengths, or gifts has God given you that you can use to help others? Take some time in prayer and ask God what He may be asking of you. Sometimes our callings are apparent and communicated to us right away, but other times, they are slowly uncovered over months or years. If you focus on Jesus, and follow His lead, He will direct your paths. You may just find that God will use your deepest loss to change your life and change the world!

More Resources

Memorial Ideas

Are you looking for ways to memorialize your baby in Heaven as a way to remember them on a daily basis?

From her own experience after losing Bridget, Ashley shares practical ideas to honor your baby in your home and daily life. These ideas will fill your heart and home with the memory of your baby and the hope you have to see them again in Heaven. Not only will they serve as precious reminders of your baby's life, they will uplift your soul and aid in your healing journey.

Dates & Holidays

Important dates such as your baby's due date, birthday, or Heaven day can be difficult milestones to face in your grieving journey. Feeling unprepared for what you'll do on these days or for the emotions that will surface can be anxiety-provoking in the days and weeks leading up to these monumental days.

From her own experience after losing Bridget, Ashley shares how she and her family prepared for these difficult days and how they celebrate holidays in ways that bring peace and remembrance.

Caring for families

Do you have a friend or family member who lost a baby?

We offer practical ideas on how to support them during the first few weeks after their loss. We also share ideas on how to support them in the months and years that follow.

Acknowledging their loss, remembering their baby, and helping them through their grief will mean more to them than you could ever know.

Find support

Are you looking for pregnancy loss support groups and resources where you live? Here you will find support groups listed by city and state.

Quotes & Bible Verses

A list of quotes and Bible verses to offer hope and healing for families who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss.

Helpful Resources

A list of organizations and websites focused on providing healing to families grieving the loss of a baby. We hope you find support & encouragement here.