In February 2020, we found out we were pregnant after 3 years of trying for our second miracle baby. At that time we had a three-year-old who had continued to be our miracle and shining hope. We also had 4 previous miscarriages...so when we found out we were expecting the emotions were so extremely high.
We were so elated yet so terrified. The what if’s started ... but then we made it to 6 weeks, then 7, then 8... at the 12-week appointment our baby was jumping around and his heartbeat was so strong- nothing bad was happening!
Our baby was growing on schedule! We got so excited! We decided to share the news with our families and friends. We also decided to find out the gender early, and I’m so glad we did. Our sweet baby boy- I would now be a boy momma, and while I was scared that Baby B would have the same health concerns as his big brother, we were just so excited to have two miracle babes.
At week 14 we did a gender reveal for our friends. I continued my regular and weekly visits as my pregnancy was yet again considered high risk. As soon as we hit 14 weeks I had become so much more calm- and I was starting to outwardly share my joy and excitement. Pregnancy through the pandemic was so hard. My husband didn’t get to go in and see ultrasounds of his baby boy growing.
At 16 weeks and 4 days, I took a video of me dancing in our house with my little baby bump. I was so excited to have a bump this early- my last pregnancy (with Baby B’s older brother Oliver, I didn’t start showing until 7 months). A few days after I took that video - I had a scheduled ultrasound. I had felt a strange twinge that morning but I just thought maybe I was stressed - of course I was, why wouldn’t I be!
On the way to my ultrasound appointment I started to have a bad feeling, I called my mom, as you are never too old to call your mom, and explained to her why I was so upset. We just sat on the phone for a bit and talked it through- and we were both sure that it would be just fine.
That ultrasound became one of the absolute worst days of my life. My doctor checked for a heartbeat, couldn’t find one, had another physician check - nothing. Our Baby B had passed away. Sweet baby B was only 17 weeks... but I knew how much he was loved. Everyone was so excited for him to be here and for Ollie to get to be a big brother.
We made the decision to deliver naturally - as I wanted to spend every moment with my sweet B. He was our sunshine no matter what. We delivered him on May 12, 2020. The nurses and our doctor were there the moment he was born- baby B was surrounded with love the moment he was born.
The nurses quickly placed B in a blue cradle and brought him over to my husband and I. Blue for the boy momma that I will always be. A tiny hand-sewn cradle to hold our baby gave our family peace as we sat in the hospital for hours on end - memorizing every perfect feature of our sweet boy. He was so perfect in every way- too perfect for this world. Every moment of his entry into Heaven was perfect.
Every second hurt my momma heart but all of the little details made it exactly the way it needed to be. We were able to hold our sweet boy and memorize everything about him. We celebrate sweet Bennett Joel every day. We can’t thank everyone enough for all the kindness and love shown towards our family - Bridget’s cradles included. You gave our baby his first safe place when he left my body, and for that, I will forever be thankful.
Written by Maren Kingery, mother of Bennet Joel Kingery born into Heaven 5/12/2020 at 17 weeks 2 days
Please leave some love and encouragement for the Kingery family in the comments below. We appreciate your prayers for their family.
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