Episode 27 - Abortion, Pregnancy Loss, and the God Who Forgives and Comforts with Misty Phillip
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Join us for a conversation with Misty Phillip about abortion, pregnancy loss, and the God who forgives and comforts. Misty shares her vulnerable testimony of finding freedom in God's forgiveness after having an abortion. Through her repentance, she has become an advocate for the unborn and shares about the sanctity of human life.
After also experiencing pregnancy loss and the stillbirth of a baby boy with a life-limiting diagnosis (and choosing to carry him), Misty shares how she grew in faith through her losses and pain. Her testimony is one of redemption and points us to the hope of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
In this episode, we discussed:
Guilt and shame after having an abortion
Finding freedom in Christ's forgiveness and grace
The importance of confession of sin and the sharing of our testimony
Combating the lies in culture from the Enemy
How God can heal the wounds of an abortion
Honoring your baby's life by sharing the Gospel
How do you become spiritually mature through trials?
Gratitude in the midst of grief
God's sovereignty and how He never wastes our suffering
The hope and promise of Heaven for all babies who pass away
Full transcript below.
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Discussion / Application Questions (leave your answers below in the comments!)
Misty shares that when we cry out to God and stay in His Word that He is faithful to carry us through. He is close to the brokenhearted and comforts us in our sorrow. How have you felt the Lord's presence in your grief? Name specific examples of His faithfulness.
In this episode, Misty vulnerably shares about the abortion she had when she was young and how she stuffed the pain, guilt, and shame for years. She finally found freedom in Christ when she accepted His love and forgiveness. If you've had an abortion, are you struggling with the weight of shame? Have you repented and accepted His forgiveness? Write a prayer crying out to Him.
Revelation 12:11 says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. Misty believes that we can help others who are walking in the darkness of grief or shame by sharing our stories. Even though it's difficult, that's how we overcome. Who can you share your story with? What other avenues could you share your testimony?
Graphics to share on social media or pin on Pinterest!
MEET OUR GUEST
Misty Phillip is the founder of Spark Media and the host of the By His Grace Podcast. She is passionate about equipping Christian communicators through events, a podcast network, a magazine, and an online community.
Misty has a powerful story of redemption after experiencing an abortion, ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage, and the stillbirth of her son due to a life-limiting condition. In her regret and pain, she found forgiveness and freedom in Jesus Christ.
Connect with Misty:
Facebook: /mistyphillip
Instagram: @mistyphillip
Web: www.mistyphillip.com
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MEET OUR HOST
Ashley Opliger is the Executive Director of Bridget's Cradles, a nonprofit organization based in Wichita, Kansas that donates cradles to over 1,250 hospitals in all 50 states and comforts over 26,000 bereaved families a year.
Ashley is married to Matt and they have three children: Bridget (in Heaven), and two sons. She is a follower of Christ who desires to share the hope of Heaven with families grieving the loss of a baby.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Episode 27: Abortion, Pregnancy Loss, and the God Who Forgives and Comforts with Misty Phillip
Ashley Opliger: [00:00:00] You’re listening to the Cradled in Hope Podcast on the Edifi Podcast Network. I’m your host, Ashley Opliger. I’m a wife, mom, and follower of Christ who founded Bridget’s Cradles, a nonprofit ministry in memory of my daughter, Bridget, who was stillborn at 24 weeks.
Cradled in Hope is a Gospel-focused podcast for grieving moms to find comfort, hope, and healing after the loss of a baby. We want this to be a safe place for your broken heart to land.
Here, we are going to trust God’s promise to heal our hearts, restore our joy, and use our grief for good. With faith in Jesus and eyes fixed on Heaven, we do not have to grieve without hope. We believe that Jesus cradles us in hope while He cradles our babies in Heaven.
Welcome to the Cradled in Hope Podcast.
Ashley Opliger: [00:00:53] Hi friends, and welcome back. I'm so grateful to have my friend Misty on the podcast today. I met Misty through her network of podcasters and attended her Christian podcast conference in Nashville this past spring. I've enjoyed getting to know her, and I know you will love her too. Misty is a dreamer and a doer passionate about helping people spark their soul message. She encourages people to use their story to give God glory.
Misty is the founder of Spark Media and she equips Christian communicators and podcasters through virtual and live events, a podcast network, magazine, and a thriving membership community. She is the host of the By His Grace Podcast. Misty has a powerful story to share of loss and redemption.
Before we get started and welcome Misty, I do want to give a disclaimer that we will be talking about abortion in our episode. We understand this can be a sensitive topic, but we want to bring it into the light. For the mom who has made this choice, there is grace and forgiveness and space to grieve your baby.
Misty's testimony is one of both regret and redemption, trial and triumph. She is vulnerable in sharing the hard parts of her past and how God's grace has brought her freedom. Speaking for myself and Bridget’s Cradles, we hold pro-life values and believe in the sanctity of human life. But at the same time, we believe there's no sin too great for God to cover it with the price He paid on the cross.
We pray this episode would bring light and freedom to those who are grieving a baby they aborted and bearing the weight of their shame. Misty also shares about grieving her natural miscarriages and baby who had a life-limiting diagnosis. There is something for all of us to learn and be encouraged by in her testimony. We pray her words would bring peace and hope. Let's welcome Misty.
Ashley Opliger: [00:02:38] Welcome, Misty, to the Cradled in Hope Podcast. We're so glad you're here today.
Misty Phillip: [00:02:43] Thank you, Ashley. I'm so excited to be here with you today, my friend.
Ashley Opliger: [00:02:47] Well, I have been so inspired by you. And we've talked about, in your introduction, the Spark Media organization that you've started, the Spark Conference for Christian podcasters–you do so many things in the world of Christian podcasting. And you've been such an inspiration to me as we've started this podcast. I've really enjoyed having the community of other podcasters.
And I got to go out to your conference in Nashville in March and hear you speak, and we just had a wonderful time learning. There was so much wisdom and encouragement there. And through that conference, I was able to learn more of your story and find out that you have experienced many losses.
And so I really would love for you to share your story, your testimony with our grieving moms because you have so much wisdom to share and so much hope.
Misty Phillip: [00:03:39] Yeah. Thank you so much for having me here. I am a mother of seven, but I have three amazing young men that God has gifted me with here today.
My story starts back long before my motherhood journey began. When I was. 12, my brother died and it wrecked my family. And I got into trouble in school, and I started drinking and doing all of the wrong things. And I was raped when I was in junior high and I had always wanted to save myself until I was married. And I just longed to be a mom, and that was even from a little girl.
I think we have these hopes and dreams and desires. We think about what things are going to look like, and that was very strong within me. But then when my brother died and I was raped, I felt like the world, like everything was just upside down.
And I just looked for anything that I could do to fill that void and that pain in my life. And I started doing drugs and was promiscuous because I really thought it didn't really matter. It really does matter, but we'll get to that in a little bit.
And I became pregnant when I was in high school and I was on a lot of drugs, serious amounts of drugs. And the enemy just wreaked havoc with me and just lied to me that this baby was going to be deformed, that my parents would find out I'm doing drugs, that I wouldn't be able to handle the situation, just lie upon lie. And I was deceived into thinking that abortion was the answer.
And so that happened when I was in high school and I stuffed that pain. And when I was in college, I had a conversion experience where I really knew that I didn't like the way my life was going and that I wanted something better. And I began praying and crying out to Jesus. And I just said, “Please Lord, bring me my husband. I'm tired of dating. I don't want to do this anymore.”
And I met my husband and three weeks later I was pregnant. Well, I wasn't married. And we just knew from the moment we met, it was love at first sight. And so I didn't want to get married because I was pregnant, because I thought that was not the right thing to do.
In my pregnancy, my dad died and it was another compounding of grief. But God blessed me with an incredible child, who is now 28 years old and is an amazing young man. And then after that, my husband and I, we tried to have more kids and I wasn't getting pregnant. I think probably the stress of being a working mom and trying to manage all of the things limited our ability to get pregnant.
And we finally got pregnant and I was so excited! And back then, we didn't do all the ultrasounds that they do nowadays, and our son was born with club feet, so his feet were upside down and backwards. And he had surgery the first week of his life, and he was in and out of the hospital the whole first year of his life.
And then when he turned one, he started having grand mal seizures and he seized continuously for several days, and as a result, has a brain injury. He is 23 years old, but I remember when he was born, looking at him with his feet upside down and backwards, and I looked at his little face and I said, “God, he's perfect. He's just perfect.”
And so after Connor was born, we wanted more children. So we tried to get pregnant again, and we did. And I remember going to my eight-week appointment and we could hear the heartbeat was good and strong, and they did an ultrasound and they couldn't find my baby.
And my doctor was leaving to go on vacation, and he was like, “This doesn't make sense because your hormones are testing really high, but we can't find the baby.”
And he said, “Let's just go in, it's going to be a really quick procedure to see what's going on, in the morning before I leave to go on vacation.”
And so my husband is there at the surgery center, he’s in the waiting room. The doctor’s like, “It’s going to be 30 minutes in and out.” Well, by the time I got back to the OR prep room, I had begun hemorrhaging and am so lucky that I'm alive, because you can bleed out on the table and there's nothing that can be done.
That 30-minute procedure ended up to be several hours, and I had a cornual pregnancy, which is a form of an ectopic pregnancy. It was very dangerous and I nearly lost my life.
And there was so much grief there. And I remember going to my Sunday School class and people don't always know what to say. My friends knew that I had just lost this baby and my Sunday school teacher, who's a guy, said, “Misty, you don't even look pregnant.” And it was just like …
Oh, sometimes people are insensitive. They just, they don't know. They don't even know, and they say things that are just hurtful. And so that was really hard because I had just come off of having a child with special needs and I thought we were going to have this next baby. And then to have that surgery, it was really hard.
But God continued to do a work in my heart and in our life, and then I found out I was pregnant again. And this time, I began bleeding about six weeks into my pregnancy and cried out to God. I was actually at a Sunday School function. And when you have your period, you know that feeling. And I was like, “Wait a minute, this shouldn't be happening right now.”
And I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding, and I ran out and I told everybody, And they sat me in a circle and laid hands on me and prayed over me. And I ended up being on bed rest my entire pregnancy, but that's when my third son was born.
And he is amazing, and we named him Ian, because that means a gift from God, because we knew, we weren't sure that he was going to come to be. And so we really fought hard on our knees for him and considered him a gift.
And then we miscarried not long after that. And we really tried to get pregnant again, because we felt like our family wasn't complete. And so we gave it to the Lord and said, “You determine the number of kids that we'll have.” And so we just gave our womb to Him, and we prayed over that and like, “Lord, You're sovereign over that and we trust You with whatever's next.”
And I didn't get pregnant, and I didn't get pregnant, and I didn't get pregnant, and I didn't get pregnant. And we're just like, “Well, I guess that's it. We're done.” And a few weeks before I turned 40, we found out I was pregnant.
And this is kind of a funny story because I called my husband, who was at work, and he was in a meeting in a conference room. And he had plugged his phone in, because it was about to die, on the person's desk.
And we have a rule in our house. If I call multiple times in a row, something's up. You've got to answer the phone. So he saw me call, he saw me call, he saw me call. He was in the middle of a presentation, and he said, “Do y'all mind if I answer this real quick?” And he put it on speakerphone and he said, ”Hello.”
And I go, “I’m pregnant!”
Ashley Opliger: [00:11:13] Oh my goodness.
Misty Phillip: [00:11:15] In front of this whole group of people, and we were so thrilled! We were so excited that God had blessed us with another child. And we went to the 16-week ultrasound, because I thought, “Maybe I'm going to get a girl this time.”
And I had my mother-in-law with me and I had my youngest son with me, and he was just like, “Look, it's so cute,” because he could see on the ultrasound. And the tech began measuring and measuring, and we knew that something was not right.
And she asked my mother-in-law and son to leave the room and called the doctor in. And she said, “You need to go have a Level II ultrasound, and you need to go see a fetal-maternal specialist because these are the things that we surmise are wrong with your child, but we don't know for sure. And so we need to take it to the next step.”
And so we went and did that and we heard, “Your son is incompatible with life.” He had two chambers in his heart. His brain was malformed. His arms and legs were shortened. He may have spina bifida. There was a whole bunch of things that were wrong with him. And they said, ”Most people in your position terminate the pregnancy.”
And we said, “No. He's fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has a purpose and a plan no matter how long he lives, and we’re going to keep this pregnancy as long as the Lord allows it.”