My husband and I found out we were expecting our 3rd son in October 2020. With two sons on earth already, we were absolutely thrilled. We decided on a name, Levi. We felt that he would be our last child.
Throughout the pregnancy, my health was better than ever, with hardly any weight gain, great blood pressures, and stable on my medications. I had never suffered from infertility or miscarriage.
We had no reason to expect that we would lose our son. He was due 7/8/21 and one hot day in June, I had my older boys at my parents’ pool outside all day. Throughout the day, I noticed I had not felt Levi moving. I decided that evening to go get him checked out at the hospital. I assumed everything would be fine, but deep down I had a gnawing feeling of something being wrong.
I waited for the ultrasound tech to confirm what I felt was true. And then came the news from my precious nurse, ”I’m so sorry, there is no heartbeat.” After the nurse confirmed with the monitor that she could not find the heartbeat, I immediately flew into a feeling of panic and fear. I had never experienced that in my life, to that degree.
The doctor came in and spoke with me and my husband and we decided to go ahead with another c-section immediately to get him out and see him, knowing our time would be limited. I was 5 days from my scheduled c-section.
He was born just after midnight on a Sunday. He was absolutely beautiful and so loved. We were able to hold him and try to create memories in a 2 day period. I can still think back to those days of pain, but also so much joy that this was my son, and how much love and joy he brought us in 38 weeks.
The Lord continued to bring us comfort as we prepared him for the funeral home, and made arrangements for his cremation and celebration of life. Our ability to move forward through those foggy thick days of grief, was only by God and His strength.
Our close friends came over to comfort and help us. Our hospital had provided a box of information, but at that time did not have Bridget’s Cradles or their information in those boxes for grieving parents.
While I was still in the hospital holding my Levi, I was researching stillbirth and facts about stillbirth. By searching the hashtag #stillbirth on Instagram and Pinterest, I was able to stumble upon Bridget’s Cradles and their ministry.
I immediately decided I would join the first ZOOM support group with Hope Gatherings, and also knew I wanted to be involved with their ministry and help other moms in their loss.
God has provided me with immense support, grace, and strength. As I look back, I know it was all Him. No, He didn’t “take my baby from me” but my baby is with Him, and no longer in this broken world. God guided my steps and His Holy Spirit has led me where I am now.
I was able to begin crocheting cradles and keepsakes for babies in Heaven and to bring Bridget’s Cradles here to my local hospital. I like to give Levi this credit, as it was through his life and death that I discovered Ashley and this wonderful group of caring individuals.
My life has been forever changed because of Levi, and God’s great love for me. His love never fails. Even in death, He has the final say.
I have been making cradles and keepsakes for Bridget’s Cradles for about a year now. I have personally walked with other women on their path of grief and their journey with finding comfort from the Holy Spirit.
I am now able to join in helping with my role on the Facebook page for grieving mothers and be more involved and active in conversation and leading other women to the opportunities that exist for them. For some women, sharing their story is a huge opportunity. For others, sharing pictures of their babies and giving proof of their life makes a significant change.
My prayer and my hope is that women will come to know Jesus if they do not already, and that we can lead them to Him. God has great plans for us still!
Written by Heather Cohen, mother of Levi Cohen, born on 6/27/2021 at 38 weeks.
Please leave some love and encouragement for the Cohen family in the comments below. We appreciate your prayers for their family.
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