Spreading kindness in memory of your baby in Heaven is a beautiful way to honor their life and legacy. No matter how many weeks they lived inside your womb (or how many breaths they took or weren't able to take), your baby's life matters because he or she was created in the image of God. Your baby was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and his or her life can have a positive impact on this world.
Many bereaved families make it an annual family tradition to do random acts of kindness in memory of their baby on their Heaven day or birthday. However, these random acts of kindness could be done any time, no matter the reason, season, or how long it's been since your baby went to Heaven.
If you have living children, we strongly encourage you to make this a family experience that involves your children. You can read more about Raising Rainbow Babies (or Older Living Children) to Remember Their Sibling in Heaven here).
When we surrender our suffering to God, He can heal our hearts and use our grief for good. Doing random acts of kindness in memory of your baby is one way you can glorify God and find purpose in your pain. We pray this list of ideas and tips will help you in your journey to honor your baby and find hope and healing.
50 Random Acts of Kindness in Memory of a Baby in Heaven
(For a free PDF printable version of this list PLUS a Canva template for a personalized RAK card for your baby, click the button above!)
Specific to Pregnancy Loss:
Order a grieving mom a personalized gift in memory of their baby in Heaven (e.g., memorial item or jewelry from Etsy - such as a print, sign, keychain, necklace, or bracelet)
Send a laurelbox to a mother who has lost a baby
Bring cookies to the labor and delivery unit nurses that delivered your baby (or to your OB office) if you had a good/supportive experience with them during your loss
Optional: Have your baby's initials on the cookies and use frosting in colors you had chosen for their nursery (or other symbolic colors)
Write thank you cards for the doctors and nurses that took care of you (if you had a good/supportive experience) and include a small self-care package (e.g., lotion, lip balm, hand sanitizer, a treat, etc.)
If your baby is buried at a cemetery, pick up and throw away decayed flowers and trash around graves, consider leaving a small note with artificial flower for other families
Be sure not to pick up/move personal items
Make care packages for moms who have experienced the loss of a baby and deliver them to your OB office or hospital (or local pregnancy loss support group, if one is available)
Please ask in advance if they will accept them
Donate to a pregnancy loss support charity in memory of your baby
Bridget's Cradles accepts memorial donations and provides personalized memorial certificates
Send a hope-filled book about healing after pregnancy loss to a bereaved mom
Here's a list of books that we recommend
Take a bereaved mom out to coffee or lunch and talk about your babies in Heaven
Give someone who has lost a baby a packet of forget-me-not seeds in their baby's memory
Ask a local park, city, or cemetery if you can pay to plant a tree in memory of your baby
Send a thoughtful email to someone who supported you in your grief and thank them for their love
Family & Friends:
Write a handwritten card to encourage a friend or family member
Make a meal (or get take-out) and bring it to someone you know who is going through a hard time
Perhaps text them earlier in the day and let them know your plans so they can plan accordingly
Send a care package or gift to a friend (or someone you've heard about on social media) that could use a surprise pick-me-up
Bake cookies, brownies, or a cake for someone you love and drop it off out of the blue
Leave an encouraging note and small gift on a co-worker's desk
Send flowers (or bring lunch) to a friend or family member when they're at work
Offer to mow your neighbor's yard or do yardwork for them (e.g., pull weeds, plant flowers, etc)
Order pizza (or ask them what they'd like from DoorDash or UberEats) for a friend or family member who lives out of town
Buy a friend or family member $5 gift cards to their top 3-5 fast-food restaurants (or give everyone in your family a $5 gift card to the same restaurant)
In the Community:
Buy clothes or toys and donate them to your local children's home or foster care agency
Optional: You could shop for items that would be for the age/gender that your child in Heaven would have been on earth (i.e., Bridget would have been 7 this year so I could shop for a 7 y/o girl)
Bring donuts to your local police or fire station
Buy canned goods and needed items and donate to a food bank
Give a present to your mailman or delivery driver (e.g., leave goodies on your porch with a sign)
Donate dog treats and food (or needed items) to your local animal shelter
Offer to walk a neighbor's dog or take out their trash bins
Pick up litter at a local park, neighborhood, or outdoor area
Send a care package to deployed soldiers (tip: look up military care packages)
Leave a generous tip at the restaurant for the server
Buy school supplies and backpacks and deliver them to a school
Bring flowers to a nursing home (and stay to read a book and talk to someone for an hour)
Order pizza for health workers (a hospital department, OB office, etc)
Donate toys, books, and games to a children's hospital
Run or walk in a 5K to support a local nonprofit
Pick up essential groceries and bring them to an elderly neighbor
Donate books to a library or charity
Donate clothes, coats, or blankets to a homeless shelter
Volunteer at a local nonprofit or provide a donation of items they need (which is usually listed on their website)
Pay for the person behind you at Starbucks or another fast-food drive-thru line (or buy a gift card and ask the drive-thru worker to give it to the next person in line)
Pay for someone's groceries when checking out at the store (if you are behind them, you can offer up your credit card to the checkout person, or you could give the person behind you a gift card)
Look up a stranger's registry or wish list (on Target, Amazon, etc) and order them a surprise gift
Go out to eat at a restaurant and pay for someone else's dinner
Put a $10 or $20 bill in a tip jar at a store (folded up with your RAK card)
Pay for someone's gas at the gas station
Tip someone who wouldn't expect to be tipped (or overtip someone)
When out in public, give a stranger a gift
Leave a kind note (and maybe a gift card) in someone's mailbox or at their front door
Leave a letter (with a small gift card) in a library book
Place flowers with a sweet note in a frequented place for someone to find (e.g., a table in a busy food court, a park bench, bus/subway stop, airport gate seat)
Tips on RAK Cards:
Print them out on cardstock or thick, nice paper and cut them to size.
Hand them out to friends and family who want to participate with you.
You could also offer a digital version and share it on your social media and in an email so that friends/family who live out of state can participate too.
For each Random Act of Kindness listed in this document, find a way to hand the RAK card to the recipient of the act or leave it with the gift/note/meal/etc. (e.g., if giving a generous tip to a server, place the RAK card with the tip; if dropping off a meal on someone's porch, leave the RAK card with the meal)
You can also include a hashtag or email address on the RAK card so that recipients of the random acts of kindness can share their stories of being touched by you (and your friends/family) in memory of your baby in Heaven. If you don't want to give out your personal email address, you could create an email address solely for this purpose (with your baby's name).
You can use the Canva Template I created for Bridget's RAK card, pictured above (and modify the text, font, colors, and quote!) You can also add text or resize the card to different dimensions, or come up with your own design. If you use the template, I'd love to see what you come up with (please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and send a copy of your RAK card in memory of your baby in Heaven).
We would love for you to tag us on social media (@bridgetscradles #bridgetscradles) so that we can see the random acts of kindness in memory of your baby and share them on our page. We pray this experience would be healing for you as you see the beautiful impact that your baby's life has had on this world.
Written by Ashley Opliger
Bridget's Mom & Executive Director of Bridget's Cradles
Connect with Ashley:
Website | www.ashleyopliger.com
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