My husband and I struggled to get pregnant, we tried for a year by ourselves and then almost another full year of testing and treatments with a fertility clinic to finally get a positive test. We were elated. We truly felt like the worst was behind us and that the pregnancy would be completely normal.
Our pregnancy was very “normal” in medical terms. We saw our baby’s heartbeat at 7 weeks. At 12 weeks our baby was so active during his sonogram that the tech started laughing. He would not hold still long enough for her to get a good measurement. She said “baby sure is happy in there”. A week later we found out we were having a boy. He made himself known to the world pretty early on by giving me a noticeable bump at 13 weeks and kept growing every week. At 16.5 weeks I felt my first flutter, he was moving around so much and I finally felt it.
My husband and I had plans to do a gender reveal for our families on Thanksgiving day ( we somehow kept his gender a secret for almost a full month). Unfortunately the Saturday before I started having some light spotting. It felt like something was wrong. My doctor recommended we go to the ER to have him checked out and just make sure everything was ok. The first Dr we saw did a sonogram and blood work. Our baby looked great, he had a strong heartbeat and they couldn’t see any reason why I would be spotting. They told us they were going to send us home and that I would just need to rest, but they wanted one more Dr to look just to make sure.
The second Dr we saw told us the same thing.. did another sonogram and told us that he looked very healthy. I kept telling them that something felt wrong, and fortunately my normal OB believed me. My OB requested that I was transferred to a different hospital for a second opinion and she wanted to have my cervix stitched up to keep the baby in. During the ambulance ride from the first hospital to the next my water broke. I remember panicking and screaming...I thought I was bleeding and was so worried about our baby. I was told it was fluid, I didn’t realize my water could break at 17 weeks.
We got to the next hospital and I was immediately taken in to have a sonogram. We were told our baby still had a strong heartbeat but my body would deliver him within 24 hours because my water broke. He would be too little to survive outside of me. My heart sank. I remember saying “there has to be another option, he is so healthy” but there wasn’t. On Sunday, November 24, 2019 at 8:55 am our son, Spencer Neil Vetter, was born. We watched him move his arms and try to gasp for air but his tiny lungs were not developed enough to keep him here with us. We know that God met him and took him home and that he took his first breath in heaven.
Spencer was brought to us in a white cradle with blue trim. He looked so comfortable and at peace. It honestly was the most comforting moment of the whole traumatic event. His cradle allowed us to hold him and mourn him without either of us feeling like we were hurting him. We felt so thankful that someone thought to create a cradle to comfort our family during the worst moment of our lives.
We find comfort in knowing that he knew how much we loved him and wanted him as that he now gets to experience God's Love firsthand.
Written by Shannon Vetter, Spencer's mommy